The Time of My Life...

It's that time of year when parents across the country are dealing, for the first time perhaps, with children leaving from home to go to college. A friend who is going through this for the first time indicated, "I miss the mommy years!" You know, I do too. Which got me to thinking...

When my husband and I were first dating, it was exciting to talk to each other and get letters (yes snail mail!). Our courtship was actually mostly long distance as he was stationed in California and I was in London for the majority of it. But it was exciting! And I loved that stage in my life!

Then we got married. And that was all new and exciting! We were transferred to Athens, Greece, and essentially had a three year honeymoon. How bad can that be?! I loved that stage of life.

Then #1 son arrived. And we became parents! How fun! How exciting. We loved every one of those years. Within two years, his sister arrived on the scene. So for the next 18 years, we were in the "parent mode" constantly. It was fun! These were the mommy years, and they were great. I loved that stage of life.

A couple years ago, son and daughter each moved out. It was a crazy summer. Dear husband was transferred to DC, son moved to PA, daughter went off to college. We sold a house in one town and bought one in another. When I arrived there it was just dear husband and me. Three bedrooms but no one to fill them. A new phase... how would this play out? This was the "dreaded empty nest" I had heard so much about. For years our lives had revolved around soccer games, cheer camps, school board meetings, youth group chaperoning... what would we do with ourselves?

So here we are in this stage of our lives. I will admit, we are one of the blessed couples. We woke up one morning after relocating to DC and discovered it was just the two of us. We looked around... We looked at each other... and said, "Hey, I remember you!" and better yet... we discovered we still like each other. Oh, yeah, we still love each other too, but we LIKE each other. We have embarked on yet another phase of our lives. And it is awesome. It is exciting! I love this stage of life!

Short-sighted Short Sale?

I was watching the news during lunch today and another employee came into the break room . The current topic on the TV was related to the current economic issues, credit and mortgage crisis, etc. The man who came in the room said, essentially, "I guess I will just do a short sale on my house." As we discussed this, it became apparent that 1) He bought the house in 2006 for about $275,000, 2) He tried to refinance two years later and the house was valued for less than he paid, 3) the house is now valued at about $245,000, and most importantly 4) he doesn't plan to leave this area for another 8 years. So, as it came out in the conversation, his whole premise for considering a short sale now (8 years before he plans to move back to his home state, remember), is that the house isn't worth what he paid anyway. Well, gosh, dude, neither is your car, or the clothes on your back, or the furniture in your house, or anything else. And, yes, I know those are things you expect to replace with a certain amount of frequency. But the idea that one should attempt a short sale on their home that they can continue to pay for because it "ain't worth what it useta be" is short sighted at best. I gently tried to explain to him that 1) if he is staying in the area he will have to pay rent or something anyway and 2) it stands to reason that there is a pretty good chance that his home will regain at least some of its earlier value over the next 8 years.

I guess what concerns me most about the conversation is that it made me wonder how many people have gone to foreclosure or executed a short sale not because they could no longer afford the house, but because it wasn't worth what they were paying for it. I hate to say that my home may not be worth today what I paid for it in 2008. It might be. It might not be. Frankly, I don't worry myself with that right now. Because I still have a roof over my head, and a comfortable bed to sleep in.... and rent in this area would be at least what I am paying for a mortgage. If I have to lay out the money anyway, I am willing to roll the dice that this house will be worth more in ten years than it is today. If not, then hopefully when we sell at some point down the road, we can at least get what we owe and know that we had a home, with a backyard, in a peaceful neighborhood for all this time.

I just sometimes don't understand what people are thinking....

Jay-Bird

Today is the second memorial service for my dear nephew Jason, who passed away on Dec. 20 just 6 months before his 30th birthday. As a family, we were able to gather together last week to bid him farewell in our hometown. His mom (my sister) wanted to spread some of his ashes on our mom's grave. Those of us who could get there gathered at the grave site. It was a gray, wintry day. My sister-in-law, she is awesome, had arrived early and shoveled a path through the 6" or so of snow. My dear husband offered a simple prayer that spoke volumes about how we were all feeling in struggling to understand this loss. Then my sister, her daughter, and husband spread some of Jay-bird's ashes. We stood there in the quiet, all grieving in our hearts, tears welling in our eyes, or just running down our faces, not a sound. Not even a whisper in the trees. The gray sky hung low overhead. As we turned to walk away, my attention was drawn to the sky. A small sliver of sun somehow shone through that blanket of snow clouds. Just a small glimmer of our mom? A bit of a twinkle from Jay-bird? Or both?
A couple days later my niece posted a picture on her facebook page. She had been skiing in Wyoming that weekend. The picture on the front page caught her eye. It was a bright red cardinal sitting on a snowy branch. Her grandmother (my mom) had always loved birds, and especially cardinals. Then she read the caption. The picture was taken over 1500 miles from there in a small suburb of Cleveland... the suburb where we were bidding our farewells to Jay-bird.
I don't know what you call it, but I call that hope.

The McKenzie Ministry, The Good Shepherd Childrens Home - GSCH. Zamorano Valley, Honduras: A better look at helping Mauricio and Ruth. (from April 1)

The McKenzie Ministry, The Good Shepherd Childrens Home - GSCH. Zamorano Valley, Honduras: A better look at helping Mauricio and Ruth. (from April 1)

Tattoos and piercings

I saw a girl (okay, an adult female) on the train today with those big spacer things in her ears. She looked pretty normal other than that. It got me to thinking… I wonder if there is a place to buy fake ones of those? Like stick on so it looks like you have those giant holes in your ears. I mostly want to do it to freak my son out. He is always trying to freak me out… piercings, tattoos. But so far I haven’t taken the bait. He gets bored and lets the piercings grow closed. Of course, the tattoos are another matter since they’re permanent. Fortunately, so far, all of his tattoos are under his shirt for the most part. Anyway, sometimes I want to do something off-the-wall for a 50-year-old moderately conservative white woman and just see how he reacts.
The first time his dad and I were late coming home from a dinner engagement he was waiting up for us... very worried! He thought we would have been home sooner, but we stopped for coffee, and we were talking, and gosh, well, ya know, it just got late, and we didn't realize what time it was! HA! The shoe was on the other foot then. I'd like to do that again, but I have no desire for a tattoo or another piercing. (Okay, there is one piercing I'd like but only if my hubby will get the same piercing and he is not so inclined... yet!)

Another bailout

Has it yet to occur to Messrs. Bernanke and Paulson that I don't want more credit? Maybe infusing more money into the banks will get them to loosen the purse strings a bit, but let's face it... maybe we are tired of living and buying like there's no tomorrow. Maybe it's time to go back to the ways of my parents, maybe your grandparents, who had a sense of saving for a rainy day and only buying what you needed... and not always then. You bought what you could afford, not what you thought you had to have.
I admit that my husband and I are an anomaly. We don't carry debt. Okay, I take that back. We have a mortgage on our house. But we have every intention on paying extra on the principal on that so that we don't even have that debt forever. We both drive nice cars, but they're paid for. We don't shop at thrift stores (not that there's anything wrong with that). Most of our clothes come from department stores like Macy's and Lord & Taylor. We do, however, shop clearances and use coupons (yes, even Macy's has coupons). We buy late model used cars. And most of all... we tithe 10% and save 10% FIRST. Then we do the rest.
Okay, maybe that's what this diatribe is all about. Charities are really struggling at a time when they are needed more than ever. Trust me... seriously... when I tell you that if you WILLINGLY give 10% of your FIRST FRUITS, you will reap great rewards. Don't give just to see if you will get more money somehow. Give because you really want to and you will reap the benefits in myriad ways. Let's stop buying stuff on credit that we don't need and start giving it back to those who have real needs.

Private Mortgage Insurance

Somewhere along the line I must have missed something very critical. In my experience, if a buyer didn't have at least 20% down Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI) was required. Where is the PMI in all of this housing debacle? Shouldn't it be kicking in and taking care of some of these loans? Why is the government stepping in and spending our money... we are the government after all, don't forget... to bail out all these loans? Okay, I am not commenting on whether the bail out is the right thing. I am just asking where is the help from PMI? What have I missed along the way?